It’s an commendable quality to take accountability if something goes wrong and is your fault, but if you tend to blame yourself for everything then you will be having a harsh time of it. People who blame themselves for too much mistake influence for control. A mother may be able to manipulate her child when it comes to educational study but she can’t completely control the child’s incentive. You may be able to influence whether your partner or friend has a good time but you certainly can’t be totally liable. Everyone has their own part to play.
So if a relationship breaks down the self-blamer may solely blame themselves ‘I ruin everything!’ rather than seeing outside factors such as the ex-partners actions or outside stresses on the relationship as also partly to blame. Too much self-blame is really about taking hold of excess of the responsibility. You can really being to think about what segment of responsibility you actually have in situations. People who are prone to remorse and self-blame take the whole for themselves. People who blame themselves for bad stuff also tend to not take credit when things work out well.
You may be a person who sees truth in very dark ways and applies obsessive standards to your own routine and behavior meaning you continually frustrate yourself and then have an excuse to ‘punish yourself with reproach. It?s imperative to understand that a mature person will see where their own responsibility lies and seek to do something about it. And never accepting any responsibility carries its own problem but the self blamer tends to totally blame themselves.
Stop Blaming Yourself will restore the responsibility balance, meaning you’ll be better placed to see the bigger picture and your own part in it with more serenity and independence.
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