Good conversation involves taking turns – one speaks whilst another listens, and you then swap over. This would seem obvious, but a lot of people aren’t good listeners, usually because they aren’t relaxed, they’re worrying about what to claim. Confidence in oneself underlies the power to listen well.
It’s funny, but those who worry about what they will say, or worry that they’re expected to make a comment, become sabotaging themselves. It creates a self-fulfilling prophesy; in concentrating on their worry, their attention is directed inwards, to the internal ramblings of their mind. They give thught to the ” what ifs” of their feared circumstance (creating horror movies in their mind) and the outcome is that they have got no real idea of what is happening around them. They’re conscious about each breath they take, the sensation perhaps of having sweaty palms, their fear of their voice sounding like a thread squeak, and become so fascinated by their internal musings that they haven’t been listening. And it really is fatal to any converstaion, let alone good conversation.
If, however, you were to intentionally focus upon listening, listening acutely to every word and watching every motion and movement which the current speaker makes, one could, no less than, know where the conversation is heading. Not only that, it truly is regularly (and almost guaranteed) that such listening piques your interest, and as you absorb what is being said your mind automatically cross-references this new input with the information already stored within your mind and triggers off new thoughts and concepts. Hey presto, you might have a natural store of food for further conversation. Via listening you may have overcome the things which you’ve got feared – you currently have something to assert, something that is relevant and therefore of interest to the alternative party.
The alternative thing about intentionally directing yourself to listen is that you simply distract yourself from your fears and worries, and so you automatically remain calm, relaxed and comfy. Again, by listening, you’re taking steps with the intention that your ” imaginary worst case scenario” (your self created horror movie) doesn’t become reality.
Some people cover up their discomfort in alternative routes. In place of withdrawing into themselves they do the alternative, and they struggle to leap in and be heard at every possible moment, be it appropriate or not. Here, the person has learnt the way to deal with the spotlight but continues to be not relaxed about it. a pal of mine uses a neat little option to control this pattern of interaction; she takes a small ball into meetings and everyone knows that whoever holds the ball is the current speaker and no-one else can speak until the ball is handed to them. That’s simple, yet effective. It teaches one when to chat and when to wait and listen and ends up in an altogether better pattern of conversation.
When you are aware that conversation doesn’t flow easily and naturally for you, just having that awareness is step one so one can change. Being relaxed and listening are the keys to good conversation and the object which underpins it all is confidence. Confidence isn’t innate, this is learned and you may discover ways to be confident with assistance from hypnosis confidence downloads.
Hypnosis is a state of relaxation. It’s normal and natural and empowering because it allows access on your subconscious mind. Fear of hypnosis only comes from not knowing what that is. Try it for yourself and you’ll realize how relaxing and calming it’s miles. You may get a free hypnosis download from my website and you then can see how hypnosis confidence opens your mind to new and beautiful possibilities.
The one way wherein you may know what to claim and tips on how to say it, automatically and effortlessly, in every circumstance, is to be told to sit back and to listen properly. You may try this with hypnosis confidence.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence.